Hi to whoever is reading this,
I’ve finally started to feel a little bit more like myself again. Not really sure what caused it, but there was a moment this evening (maybe an hour ago…?) and it felt like something had clicked back into place.
I haven’t not been myself lately – no crazy teenagery stunts or anything remotely interesting like that – but I guess we all go through stages of feeling a little bit out of sorts as we stumble through the various stages of growing up.
I don’t really know how to describe what feeling like “me” is like. I’ve not suddenly reverted to 4 year old Georgie who slid down (then tried to clamber up) sweeping park slides in rolled up Snow White dresses, chatting candidly about her very important & serious reflections on the world. I also know I’m probably nowhere near the person I’ll be in 5, 10 or even 50 years from this moment – although in many ways, you reading this probably won’t be the same either. Not necessarily worse or better – but inevitably having gained valuable life experience that shapes who you are as a person and how you respond to life’s subsequent events.
I suppose feeling more like “me” is probably down to doing a mixture of the things that I love, that have fallen by the wayside in recent months and years as school got more hectic and my confidence (and daring) wavered.
For example – I visited my local library today for the first time in at least a year. This probably isn’t the WORLD-CHANGING-SELF-DISCOVERING thing you were anticipating, but reading was always something I enjoyed when I was little. Well, more than enjoyed. I was (and still am really) one of those people who can just devour a 400 page book in one sitting. I guess I just read really fast (and yes I do actually read it – no just-looking-at-the-pictures or sparknotes here folks!). But I can’t really call myself a bookworm as I haven’t read many new books in recent months – preferring to re-read the old favourites instead of letting myself get hooked on a new book when school (and all its various busy-nesses) is always looming eerily round the corner. Anyway, I borrowed 2 reasonably lengthy books today, and as of around 5pm this evening; I’ve already finished one.
I think I’m also on a bit of a post-gym-high this evening – I went to the gym for the first time after xmas and even though I’m now walking much slower (!), I can confirm with full confidence that the endorphins are worth all the sweat and pain. The gym is also something that I’ve always loved and I guess having a really good gym sesh – and having the time to push myself testing new workouts – has contributed to feeling a bit more like myself again.
I’m glad I’m feeling like myself again – it’s made me a bit more optimistic for 2019 (which has crept up so fast!) and I’m really looking forward to spending a chill New Year’s Eve with my parents and one of my oldest friends tomorrow. 2019 is going to be quite a daunting year for me, but I’m sure there will be plenty of laughs along the way & that all the hard work will eventually pay off.
Hope you have a Happy New Year – and if you’ve got any exciting NYE plans, feel free to let me know in the comments 🙂