2017 – You’ve been quite good to me. Both the negative and positive events of this year have changed me, but I think it’s safe to say that I’ve definitely learned a lot from both sides and changed as a result.
Even thinking back to January & February, when I went to the auditions for NYT, NYMT and YMT – I cared so much about how I seemed to complete strangers and I was too shy to really go for it and show what I could do. I felt threatened by the people around me – people I’d never met before (!) – and instead of embracing it and using the challenge to thrive, I panicked, worrying about the implications of my every action, wrongly convinced that everyone would immediately hate me for any random thing. It’s a mindset that everyone goes through at some points throughout their life and I’m really proud to say that I think I’ve found a way in 2017 to work through the doubts and stop being my own worst enemy.
2017 was also the year that I properly hit the world-famous teenage angst, smack in the face. I went through all the rubbish emotional minefields of “I have no friends” (even though deep down I know I do) and stressed over my slow-changing appearance, but even though I know I’ve got more teen-angst to come in the future – I think I’m in a much better place to deal with it and pull myself through the tougher times without exploding my world around me in the process.
My residential week at YMT definitely was a bit of pivotal moment of my 2017 – for the first time in my life, I just clicked with the people around me and it was a real boost to my confidence. I’ve got quite a bit of preparation to do for my audition this year as they’ve completely changed the system, but I’m looking forward to the challenge nonetheless!
As a last point before I wrap this post up (before it gets too long for anyone reading this, hungover after a boozy new year’s eve!), I wanted to share something that I definitely want to keep in mind throughout 2018 – Stop becoming submissive to people just in fear of their opinion of you. To be perfectly honest, 99.999% of people are not as observant or judgmental as you build them up to be in your head, there’s no point abandoning your self-worth or confidence just because you feel worried about what someone will think of you. Be proud of the things that make you unique, your ideas, dreams and personality – anyone who judges you for that or makes you feel insignificant because of it just isn’t worth your time.
So I guess all I’ve got left to do is to wish everyone a really happy and prosperous new year! Please comment below how your 2017 went – I’d really like to start properly talking to you guys more in the comments 🙂