Hi to whoever is reading this,
I guess I have an awful lot of explaining to do. I have been completely inactive on this website for over a month, excuses at this point are pointless but I feel completely ashamed in my own incapability to blog consistently. Life got in the way, concerts, lessons, plays, dramas etc. and before I knew it it was April 1st and I still hadn’t got a post up.
And the truth is that blogging is one of my favourite things to do, it cheers me up when I feel really low, it makes me feel more motivated & productive in my life in general, and it allows me to communicate with some really amazing people (you guys!). I’ve missed this website and the wordpress community so much and even though there is an almost insurmountable build up in my reader feed, I’m going to do my best to read as much of it as possible.
A lot has changed in my life since I last posted, both good and bad. We had our bathroom ripped out and re-done at my house, so that was a fun three weeks of showering at school, which to be fair was not bad & could have been a lot worse, but I’m certainly not missing the icy water when the school turned the hot water off before I could shower. Though I am very lucky to have ended up with such a lovely bathroom, the lights are so bright that sometimes it feels like a religious experience walking in there in the middle of the night, but at least there aren’t any holes in the floor and i can control the water temperature without destroying my wrist.
But on a less positive note, my confidence completely plummeted again. I really started to hate my body much more than I previously did, and to make matters worse, I felt really unhappy with my personality; hating myself for any little thing, picking on my own insecurities for no reason whatsoever. I let myself panic over my school work and cave in to the mass of rubbish that I was feeling inside; I had no motivation to do anything, made excuses for the most pathetic of things and I chastised myself for any minor error. But bit by bit, I’ve started to pull myself out of this rut; my mum and I are helping each other to sustain a lower-carb lifestyle, I’ve pushed myself to do lots of little tasks that I’d been putting off for months, such as properly setting up my new bank account, cleaning all of the dust from the building work out of my room and finding reasons to smile and get on with life when I felt completely desolate inside.
On a completely irrelevant note, I’ve also started to wear a bit of makeup so any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated (!). Luckily my skin is usually pretty clear so I’ve just been experimenting with a bit of eyeliner (nothing too emo, don’t worry), mascara, etc. and I’m beginning to save up for some nice products to treat myself with in time for summer. I’ve been researching cruelty-free brands in particular as I’d rather give my money to a company that is concerned with the impact of their products rather than just their profits; Lush, Tarte and Too Faced seem to have some really good stuff so next time I go shopping I’m definitely having a look there.
Just as a quick update on my YouTube channel, I know I haven’t posted much on there either, but I’m making some big changes in the next few weeks that hopefully you guys will like. I’ve decided to focus my channel on covering songs and I’m teaching myself to play a few that I’ll potentially film and upload in the next few weeks, so keep your eyes peeled!Any suggestions of songs you want me to cover…?
I’m also going to start putting some effort into my blog instagram, it would be awesome to be able to talk to you guys properly on there as well so I’ll leave a link to it here.
Anyway, thanks for reading this far, feel free to like, comment and subscribe!