Hiya to whoever is reading this,
The 19th of July 2015.
One phone call changed everything, sent my family reeling in spirals. The pain each of us felt was the only similarity as the grief messed with each of us in different ways. We had been expecting this news for a while so logically it should not have been a shock.
But where’s the instruction manual for life that comes with losing your grandad.
And I know people lose family members all the time, but that doesn’t make it any less painful, personal or such a stark reality. Any single individual reacts differently to grief, so one thing that comforts one person may not bring solace to someone else.
But that’s not what this post is about.
I wanted this post to be a way I can share everything that I’ve achieved, how I’ve changed as a person and a reminder that what might seem to be an endless dark tunnel, actually has a tiny glimmer of light at the end of it and it’s up to you whether you fight to make that tiny beam stronger and more powerful, or let the darkness overwhelm you.
One of the first changes came in the form of a large chop. About a week after grandad died, I had a HUGE haircut. Previously, my hair was so long it stretched all the way down to my lower back, a visit to the hairdressers with my best friend changed that rather quickly! They cut 11 inches off my hair and I donated the long locks to the Princess Trust (an amazing charity who use donations of human hair to make high quality wigs for children who have lost their hair through cancer therapy).
Then, in August, I started this blog. My ideas for GeorgieGrl had been floating around my head for a while but it finally felt like the right time to share those ideas with the world. Things started VERY slowly and it wasn’t until late November that I started to get noticed but that’s a whole other story for another day.
When school started, it was difficult to cope. Things just began to feel like an uphill struggle with no clear path, so I decided to find a new hobby, something I could push myself to new lengths with, and I eventually ended up choosing rowing.
Rowing allowed me to find a positive outlet for all of this negative stuff I was feeling. I could see myself improving and after getting a really good result in my team tryout, one cold, dark autumn/winter evening, I was boosted forward into a crazy whirlwind of training sessions, rowing on the Thames, wet socks, waterlogged wellies and a group of friends that I wouldn’t change for the world. Rowing also helped me to find my love for fitness and has helped me to develop a much healthier lifestyle, that I’m proud to say still exists now.
Then came the grade 5 music theory. As a musician, you can’t do any practical ABRSM grade higher than grade 5, unless you’ve passed grade 5 music theory. Needless to say, many brutal arguments, tears and panics later, along with the amazing help of one of my teachers, I passed with a good mark and was allowed to get my ears pierced!!!
Over the course of the year, I took part in many unusual opportunities, such as a Shakespeare festival with loads of my friends, and pushed myself to heights in other areas I previously didn’t know I could do.
After an awesome birthday weekend, a trip to hospital a month later, fairly stressful revision and VERY stressful exams, things seemed to be getting better. I did really well in 99% of my exams and got given an achievement award thing, along with 4 other people in my year,from my school. Then it was off to France! I had such a good time and despite my worries about it, it all turned out to be ok =)
So here I am now, a week into my summer holidays and loving every moment. I’m going on holiday with my parents soon so brace yourselves for endless photos and frequent blog posts! =)
You guys have also helped me through this. Knowing that you guys have my back gives me confidence to take risks and make the most of every opportunity I’m given. I love being able to share parts of my life and the photos I take with you guys and I’m glad you enjoy my posts =)
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