Hiya to whoever is reading this,
This is something quite personal to me but it’s something I’ve felt quite a lot at the moment.
Due to what happened to me this summer, I’ve been getting these feelings of being really low. And it comes in different ways; I can be perfectly normal and happy one day, but the next I can feel like everything is just going wrong and that the entire world is against me.
Something else that happens is that I can just start feeling like liquid lead has been poured into my body, making my limbs feel super heavy and making me feel like I can’t breathe. This as you can imagine is incredibly annoying and uncomfortable, especially when you literally want to cry and scream at the same time.
I’ve tried to explain this to some of my close friends in person, but I find it quite difficult and I don’t really think they understand. Not because they’re bad people or anything but because I think they have never experienced a feeling like it.
Also on these sorts of “low” days, I find it hard not to just lash out at people for no reason whatsoever, and I then feel terrible because I think I’ve hurt them.
Usually the pain is deep down inside and I hide it as much as possible, but the only down side of doing that is that it can hit back at any time and I can feel the full force of the grief all too well. This sort of pain usually leaves me in tears, especially yesterday in front of my entire year-group (cringe) when I had to retreat back inside to the changing rooms for 5 mins.
Anyway, thanks for reading. It makes me feel slightly better to be able to share this sort of personal stuff on a blog and seeing you guys comment, like and follow me really brightens my day and helps me when I feel like everything is conspiring against me.
Please comment if you feel like this.